Allow Yourself to Be Used (How to Get What You Want in Life)

The idea of being “used” is something that makes people’s skin crawl. It brings up images of manipulative bosses, relationship partners, one-sided friendships, and a life devoid of reciprocity. It feels like a betrayal of self, a surrender of your precious time and energy with no guarantee of reward. We’re conditioned to believe that success […]

Posted by: Nicky Verd Comments: 0
being used

The idea of being “used” is something that makes people’s skin crawl. It brings up images of manipulative bosses, relationship partners, one-sided friendships, and a life devoid of reciprocity.

It feels like a betrayal of self, a surrender of your precious time and energy with no guarantee of reward.

We’re conditioned to believe that success comes from guarding your time, energy, and resources fiercely. You chase validation, promotions, and dream relationships, often feeling like the universe owes you something in return for your relentless pursuit.

But what if I told you that this entire paradigm is a recipe for frustration? What if the key to unlocking your full potential and achieving your wildest dreams lies not in hoarding what you have, but in strategically allowing yourself to be used?

This isn’t about becoming a doormat or letting others take advantage of you unnecessarily. This is about a radical shift in perspective — one that reframes “being used” not as exploitation but as a potent tool for growth and achievement.

The most successful people in every field aren’t just takers, they’re strategic givers. They don’t wait for opportunities to find them; they actively seek ways to contribute, to solve problems, to make a positive impact, exceeding expectations, and pouring their hearts and souls into their work.

They understand, perhaps on a subconscious level, this counterintuitive truth: the more you give, the more you get in return. They understand a fundamental truth: Giving freely before taking abundantly is the secret sauce of success.

My Story

When I was still building my brand as a speaker, I practically begged for opportunities to speak for free. Local events, industry gatherings — anywhere I could get in front of an audience, I was there.

Did it feel like I was being used? Absolutely. But it built my portfolio, honed my skills, and exposed me to a wider network.

Sure, there was no paycheck, but I was building my portfolio, honing my craft, and getting comfortable in front of an audience.

In essence, I allowed myself to be “used” to gain valuable experience. That “use” was the springboard for my current success.

Even today, I still do free gigs depending on the situation at hand. I still write free content and offer free value through articles, social media posts, and video content.

It’s not about being exploited; it’s a strategic investment in my brand and future.

Climbing the Corporate Ladder

Imagine you desperately want that promotion. You spend years diligently climbing the corporate ladder, meticulously crafting your resume, and waiting patiently for your turn but the promotion feels like a distant dream.

Now, contrast that with another approach. You consistently go above and beyond your assigned duties, tackling projects beyond your current pay grade. You become the go-to person, the one who consistently delivers exceptional results.

This proactive approach, this willingness to be “used” in the sense of being a valuable asset, makes the promotion a mere formality.

And even if you do this and the promotion doesn’t come, you’ve learned skills and a work ethic that will last you a lifetime.

So, start doing the job you want to get promoted into. Take on more responsibility, volunteer for challenging projects, and showcase the skills required for the higher position.

By the time the promotion opportunity arises, you’ll be the obvious choice — you’re already there, excelling.

Play the long game and allow yourself to be “used” to demonstrate your worth.

This applies to everyone, not just corporate climbers.

Business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs — offer free consultations or build a following by sharing valuable content.

Don’t wait until you have a fancy office and a team to start serving your target market. Start small — offer consultations, build prototypes, and test your ideas on a limited scale.

The “use” you provide in these early stages validates your concept and attracts potential customers and investors.

The same holds true for artists, musicians, and anyone striving to make their mark on the world.

By pouring your heart and soul into your craft, by consistently offering your unique perspective, you attract a devoted following.

You become “useful” in the sense of enriching the lives of those who experience your work.

Do you want to be a stellar writer? Start a blog and write your heart out, even if it’s just for yourself at first.

The act of giving, of being “used” to refine your skills and build a foundation, is an investment in your future success.

Look for ways to add value, even if it seems outside your current role. Set your ego aside and concentrate on making a positive difference.

This applies to relationships too

How many times have you heard a man/woman say, “I’ll be a great husband/wife, just wait until we get married!

Being a spouse isn’t a future-tense kind of thing. If you want to be a great partner, wife or husband, be one now.

Be a fantastic partner now. Show up with love, support, and a willingness to contribute to the relationship’s well-being.

The “use” you provide is your unwavering support, your empathy, your willingness to be a teammate in the journey of life together.

Allowing yourself to be used is the right way to find a suitable partner. Holding back guarantees nothing and of course, there are nuances to this but that’s a topic for another day.

Anyone who tells you they’ll be a good partner/spouse “later” is likely setting you up for disappointment.

Again, this isn’t about being a doormat. It’s about strategically leveraging your skills and energy to create value and build towards your goals.

This requires dedication, sacrifice, and yes, sometimes being used strategically. But when you embrace this approach, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you get what you want, climb the ladder and achieve goals you once thought were out of reach.

So stop holding back, allow yourself to be used, and watch your potential explode.

This is about playing the long game, strategically investing in yourself and your future.

When you plant a seed, you’re not expecting immediate fruit. You’re providing water, sunlight, and care, trusting the process to yield a bountiful harvest later.

Allow yourself to be used in the same way — nourish your potential, contribute value and watch as your dreams blossom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *