Few months ago, I was suppose to go somewhere with someone. We’d agreed to meet at a particular spot but I was trying to renegotiate our meeting place so I can avoid having to take multiple local taxies. And so this person exclaim in total shock…and said, “Nicky, you mean to tell me a big woman like you doesn’t have a car?
Mmhhh….I felt some type of way about that response and thought to myself, where do I begin to unpack the insults and the ignorance in this statement.
But the real insult to me would actually be — so, a big woman like you doesn’t have a dream or purpose in life?
Seriously, you don’t need a car to chase your dreams. Well, you do need car to travel from point A to point B but it doesn’t have to be your own but that’s besides the point.
I had another similar incident, where another person also tried to let me know I was a useless human being if I don’t own a car. I was invited to an event and the host had arranged to send someone to pick me up. The person who came to pick me was someone we’ve been connected on Social media but we’ve never really meet in person. So, that was our first time to meet in person.
She picked me up and while we were driving in her car to the venue and having small talks to get to know each other — out of nowhere, she said something shocking and unrelated to the conversation. She said, Nicky, I’m so surprise you don’t have a car — you always talking so big on social media. Mmhh….and there was silence in heaven — awkwardness enveloped the whole car.
To be honest, I didn’t know how to respond to her comment. But there was this thought on my mind trying to force this way out of my mouth but i didn’t wanna be nasty. I ignored it and tried to move the conversation to something else. But the whole time, I kept thinking to myself, mmhh…”so only those with cars has the right to have a voice on social media.”
These may sound like just stories but there are actual real life experiences I’ve had where people try to belittle me for not having certain materialistic possessions.
The pressure society will put on you to fit their idea of success is real but don’t fall for it. Don’t put yourself under pressure, stress and depression because you somehow think you owe people proof of success.
If you worry about what others think of you, then your obsession for human validation is the greatest obstacle to your progress.
If you have a purpose and a dream like I do, focus on building your dream. I’ve been chasing my dreams for years now without a car or even a bicycle. Yes, it’s difficult but not impossible.
Do remarks and comments like these from people bother me? Yes, they do but giving up is not an option. Giving up still won’t give me a car. In fact giving up takes away any chance of me ever owning a car — and so I keep chasing my dreams even on foot…lol
Now here’s the irony, when I was still in the corporate world, before I got laidoff in 2016 (you can read my story HERE), I had a car, but I had no dreams. I had no purpose. I was simply existing.
My life was on auto pilot and I felt lost in the path of nothingness; barely reaching the speed limit on my journey to nowhere.
Yes, I had a car back then but I had no life. I didn’t feel alive as much as I do now. Well, I sold my car when I got retrenched. Not that I owe anyone an explanation but I had to choose between maintaining the status quo and surviving.
To you reading this, the one thing I’d like you to take from this article is that:
What drives you is more important than what you drive!
You don’t need a car to chase your dreams and I say this both literally and figuratively. Dreams, visions or ambition live in hearts not cars. The only address for your dreams is your heart not not a fancy car or some five star apartment.
And this to me is an equalizer, imagine if the requirements for ambition was that that you must first have a car. Imagine for a moment if the requirement was that nobody without a college degree can dream or nobody without political connections can have a dream.
It’d therefore mean I don’t stand a chance in life since I don’t have a degree or political connections. It’d mean this African child in the village doesn’t stand a chance to dream.
If you are a Christian like me, remember what the bible says in Proverbs 18:16. “Your gifts shall make room for you and bring you before great men”
It is not your nice car or your five-star apartment that will bring you before great men, but your gifts, your talents and your dreams.
So, when starting out in life, the focus shouldn’t be cars or luxury. You may argue that we need a car to move from point A to point B and that’s true but like I already mentioned, that car doesn’t have to be your own.
Every country has a public transportation system. There are taxies, buses, train stations in almost every city in the world and even motorbikes in some cities. Simply because you cannot buy a car at this point in your journey doesn’t mean you should stop moving.
Live to Inspire not to Impress!
Don’t insist on buying a car to chase your dreams. Its like saying you cannot travel to another country because you don’t have your own private jet. Airplane are also part of public transportation. If you can use an airplane that doesn’t belong to you to travel from one country to another, you can also use taxies/buses to move within your country/city in pursuit of your dreams.
The commonly shared tale is that Apple was not only founded in the garage of Steve Jobs’s family home — but that the first Macs were designed and built in the garage as the company was bootstrapped.
Google, the world’s most famous search engine was also started in a garage. Every computer user knows the Microsoft brand. It’s the remarkable and famous software that was also started in small garage by Bill Gates and his friend Paul Allen. Amazon also started in a garage, as well as Disney.
Dreams need determination not fancy offices and cars. In the days before Covid19, if you told someone you were working from home, they actually feel sorry for you. Like…oh! so, you can’t afford an office?
Having a dream and a purpose in life is more important than having a car or a fancy office. Haven’t you heard stories of people who drove their cars, parked somewhere and jumped off the bridge or jumped on the railway and committed suicide?
Having a car isn’t the ultimate symbol of success. Yes, we all need resources to make the dream come true but sometimes the car isn’t the most important resource you should be focusing on. Learn to be resourceful rather than focusing on getting the resources. Focus on raising your value as a person.
Like I mentioned before, I’ve been chasing my dreams for years now without a car or even a bicycle yet I successfully published my book (Disrupt Yourself Or Be Disrupted). I get invites to speak at different types of events. I even travel to other countries to speak. I’ve been to events where I arrived in a taxi, as usual and the types of cars parked there sometimes intimidates me to the point where I feel like running away.
But hey, my worth isn’t in a car! And so, I put my shoulders up, walk into that room and speak my heart out. As a speaker, when people are inviting me to speak at a conference, they don’t ask, “Nicky, do you have a car?”
No, nobody cares about that once you’re valuable in the market place. You can have the best car but nobody will care about your car if you can’t provide value to people or solve their problems.
For those of you who have been following my journey, I’ve come a long way. I am nowhere near where I want to be in life but I’m not where I use to be. My journey has just started, the story is still being told. I’ve made some progress and if I could do this without owning a car, so can you!
So, don’t wait till you’ve got a car or some other material possession to start chasing your dreams and making a difference in the world. All you need is a dream to start, all you need is the courage to start. You don’t owe anyone a car or certain certificates or positions or certain clothing brands to prove your worth. Material things are great BUT they don’t define anyone.
Focus on building yourself, focusing on building your brand and focus on adding VALUE. Branding isn’t about what clothes you wear or what car you drive. Branding is about value. Branding is about your market niche. Branding is about networking with the right people.
When a car or other material possessions becomes the goal then you end up chasing things rather than purpose. Live to inspire not to impress. I know its hard, but you’ve come too far to give up now. I speak to you as one on the same boat with you. Keep building, keep perfecting your craft.
Noah looked like a fool until it started raining!